Humility is my greatest quality

I am a busy man. Very busy. For the world, I might be just another snake oil salesman and a high class fraud, but, I have shit to take care of. Between counseling dumb souls who consult me for everything ( starting from 'who should I marry' to 'what should I wear before going to bed' ) and single-handedly saving the world by shooing away evil spirits( this i do during my lunch break ), I have my hands full. Just in the past week, I have had cabinet meetings which have saved the world economy from crashing. Not once, not twice, but thrice.

Its very hard to live in this world knowing that everybody around me is a lesser being and lower in taratamya compared to me. On top of this, there is this Fake Chiraan who's making stuff up on his crappy website and getting on my nerves.

YET, despite all this, I am very humble. As a matter of fact, I haven't met a single person who is as humble as I am. All you lesser mortals might not have a BMW like I do, or might not have clout in the Indian Parliament like I do, but it doesn't matter anyway, because you definitely cannot be as humble as I am. I'll even go as far as to say that amongst all my kalyaanagunAs,  humility is my greatest quality. ( Here is where my chelas drumroll ).

Don't agree with me? You must either be a (a) daitya (b) mletcha (c) nAstik (d) all of the above . Pick your choice, sucker.

Pardon me for taking leave now, but I have a chartered jet to take - the one that I own. And my other car is a Porsche. Stay humble, stay foolish( like I do )!

Your questions, the Real Chiraan's answers - 2

Question of the day:

Number : 5 +i7
Place: Jakkasandra, Karnataka, India
Offerings: 5 beetle leaves, 22/7 almonds, mangoes, mulangis
My name is Dr. Richard Gere, am working as  junior lecturer in OOO college and research institute in Jakkasandra, Karnataka, India.
my question is will i get a very beautiful very good looking n a good compatible wife ,
what will be the complexion of my wife
when is the date of my marriage in this year 2013

Please help Real Chiraanji!

The Real Chiraan says:

Yes,  you'll get a very beautiful wife - her complexion will be pure magenta, with spots of grey. And you'll be as compatible as MS Word 2013 is with Windows 95.